Let's have some sympathy for Ferrari and Massa. Biggest losers of the day. I not an F1 fan but lately i have been attracted by all the buzz and excitement. Quite exciting though, with cars zooming at top speed. Anyway who expect Alonso to walk away as a winner? Placed at 15th position, he planned to just do the laps. 1 lucky bastard. When all the shits happened, he managed to be a few cars behind the safety car and i knew he gonna win it. Look at all the drivers in front of him. None of them as experienced or skilled. I think F1 should look into that dubious rule. At least all cars should return to starting line according to their positions at the moment. Just imangined you are leading the pack with confidence. Everything going smoothly and you are gonna win it easily. Then this 'shit' happened. Found yourself chasing the pack now. Then your team of proffesional mechanics screwed up a simple process of refuelling. Then, you are slapped with a 10 sec drive through penalty. If i am that guy, i will stop my car and take a seat at the grand stand. Pissed with anger and frustration. But what did Massa do? He continued his race with grace and a heart of a big man. I think so. I truly admired his anger managment and calmness. He was waiting patiently for a few mechanics to chase up to remove the fuel hose. When they arrived he didnt even shout or made a fuss out of it. During the post match interview, he said "These things happens, we are all human beings, I dont blame anyone." He just dont have the right amount of luck that day. But in the end, he lost with great sportmanship. All the way, Ferrari Massa.

I have an elder bro. I think older than me by 2 to 3 years. When he was younger, very playful n mischeivious. CMI in primary school, results like shit almost got into em3. Every year last in class. Then PSLE expected la NA lor. Heng sia almost NT. Went to YCK sec, results still bad like machiam shit. Parents worried, But things changed when he studied for N-level. Suddenly so motivated to do well, scored well n moved on to sec 5. But all this while i m not worried and didnt even despise him. Maybe i cant even be bothered or inside me i have faith in him that he will eventually make it. Scrapped through his olevel got into some enviromental course in np. Did exceptionally well, won many awards. At this point of time he is a completely changed person. Right now serving NS at OCS (Officer Cadet School) 9months time become a commisioned officer in the army. Looking back he seemed like going no where, now his future looks so promising. Bless with great leadership qualities and an athlete body, i believe he can go far in life if he continue to strive hard.

49th Day

Ben & i went to the crematorium in Bishan today. Time to pray for XingZong. But not many ppl turned out compared to tt time. Just ard 10 of us. We met his brother at 830. We entered into the hall where all the photos were stored. Retrived XZ's photo and the monk brought us into a room. We started the prayer. Throughout the whole process, i jus stared into the photo. I cant really figured out what went through my mind. Numb & empty. Pieces of memeories jus flashes here n there. But i am jus thankful for all the times i spent with him. I dont believe in after-life. But in XZ's case, i kept wondering what is he doing now, at this moment. Stupid rite? Will he continue his life as who is he right now but in a different world. Have the same look and same personalities, etc. Or jus empty, like the time before each of us were borned.

After the prayer, the monk brought us back to the hall where we burned his photo to ashes. Why? I also not sure. But tears ran down almost on everyone cheeks, especially Ben's. I didnt cried. I think i m immune to the sorrow and sadness. Next, we went to burn joss papers n etc. I saw the t-shirt where all his friends wrote blessings for him. I received a pink packet from one of his uncle. Spend the money inside to forget him and move on. I plan to throw it when i went for diving this dec. We made a pact n i think he will be waiting for me to dive with him again.

Looking Back

Its been a long time since i wrote my last entry. I cant figured out why too. But over the years many things happened. I lost a good friend and made many new frens. I jus want to thank all my frens who hav been helping me all this while. I am writing again to rmb happy memories & reflect on sad experiences. I hope i can continue. This blog goes out to my late fren and best fren.